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Challenged yet again.but continuing our fight

So after being completely overwhelmed the last few weeks. Neka had her surgery for her “lipoma’ removed on 4-6-15, pathology came in about a week later. And to my disturbed response it was a high grade soft tissue sarcoma, with lateral clean margins but not clean deep margins. For those of you that dont know, clean margins is where there are not cancer cells present, meaning her deep margins are NOT clean and with a high grade sarcoma there is a about 50% chance of regrowing when you have clean margins and hers are not. I was pretty upset as this was a “lump” ive questioned about 5x or more over the last year and increased questioning since Nov of 2014. always being told, its ok, its a lipoma. I should have stuck to my gutt.

The treatment for this type of CA is to radiate the localized area and start chemo because it has a very high chance of metastasizing. The problem is with her situation, Ive been told curative radiation may not be an option because of her OSA being now she has 2 different cancers according to pathology and the vets. and the chemo you would start is the doxorubicin as it has the best studied results in attacking these types of cells. but to add challenge to our situation, she had almost all her doxi chemo to treat the OSA a year ago and there is a lifetime toxicity max on the body and after 5 doses can cause the heart to fail. So she technically has 2 left, however the oncologist was still cautious and did say in 10 yrs he had one dog at dose 5 go into heart failure. uug decisions. however there is a drug zenecord that can be given to counter act heart failure, the catch its like 680 each dose given at every chemo..OMMGG

Another new option is there is a drug offered to me last year for the OSA that was used in canada but was extremely pricey, good news is it is available to US now and the price and cancer cellular death is very similar to the doxirubicin with out the heart side effects, there is an increase in GI upset but that can be counteracted with meds.

So my plan:

I did 1more doxirubicin with the zenecord on 5-8-2015, and I plan to do some more research on the canadian chemo  Epirubicin, there are not any US studies but I will find out, since it should attach cells like the doxorubicin. If it all checks out I will start it in about 3 weeks.

I may still go down to th eU of I and see who I can convince to maybe to a combo of pallaltive radiation and curative or just increase the pallative. Apparently research shows that pallative does not attack microscopic cells as much as if the tumor was till whole and not removed . but the curative radiation was like 3300-4500, I about choked and thats at a teaching hospital. So I need to find a vet that is willing to look outside the box and offer me some non conventional treatments. Ie: extra pallaitive or mixing pallative doses with curative. With all her dx whats to loose, its gotta be better than doing nothing, especially when she still acts and looks perfectly healthy.  Doing nothing will be a sure end, trying with be left to fate and GOD.

In addition to all of the above she has other “lipomas” maybe about 3 of them are bigger than others located on her torsal, and one on her hind hip that one has also been there for 3 years.but now Im questioning their true nature, I was offered to have them FNA but right now I am torn because every other FNA except 1 has come back the opposite of what it was suppose to be. So hard to deside these life changing decisions. especially when everyting Im trying to find out always comes back wrong. It is very disappointing to have that feeling of everything being wrong when your trying sooo hard.

~ by neka03 on May 12, 2015 .



4 Responses to “Challenged yet again.but continuing our fight”

  1.   leland4 Says:

    Wow…you and Neka sure have had to endure a lot!!! I’m so sorry that she’s battling a 2nd cancer on top of the OSA. Try to be present in the moment with Neka and shower that sweet girl with lots of love, treats, and kisses. It’s so hard in dealing with cancer and being able to know how much time we still have with our precious fur babies.

    I’ll be keeping sweet Neka in my thoughts while she continues to battle against this awful disease.

    Sahana and her Angel Leland

  2.   benny55 Says:

    Most importantly, nothing has changed in Neka’s world! She is not a statistic. She is not worrying about days on a calendar. She’s living in the moment like she always has this entire journey…and that’s where you need to be.

    Goodness knows, it’s easier said than done. We all get that. But to do otherwise would let that stupid piece of crap disease try and rob you of all the joy you and Neka are having in the present…in the now!

    And to beat yourself up for the wudda..shuddas…no, no, no, please don’t do that. This crap disease makes up it’s own rules and it is brutal and unfair. And then it tries to make us second guess everything.

    You are an outstanding advocate for your Neka! You are doing everything possible for her and she KNOWS how much you love her!! You are doing an amazing job in your research. Wuite frankly, my head was spinning as you laid out the options! You have done exhaustive researxh! I applaud you for your courage and determination!.

    I can offer zero insight into what path to take. And, for whatever it’s worth, sometimes not doing a treatment is still a “treatment” you can supplement with holostic therapies. And it is not giving up! It’s merely taking a path with no side effects, no more poking and prodding…just continuing to live life in the fullest!

    Neka is quite an inspiration to all of us here! And she has no intention of going anywhere anytime soon! Know that to be true!

    Keep on keeping on sweet girl! We are all cheering for you!!

    Hugs and love!

    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!

  3.   neka03 Says:

    @ benny..
    Thank you for the kind words. I have to say, I keep reminding my of that exact thing “her not knowing” and plugging along.
    I would have to say.. My excessive research makes my head spin as well and is soley for her, trying to pick things that have had proven results vs just doing something to appease my own mind and have no benefits. I just wanted to have some education before these vets give me options or mention I dont have options and I end up finding something that could of been an option.. Yes.. I get WAAAY involved, I figure Ill be in debt alooong time over this, Im gonna know what my options are..lol.
    And YES… Cancer is the biggest lier on the planet!!uug

    I would also like to add something based on something you said that hit very home to me you said something like, living my days with joy and in the moment as you mentioned. About 2 months ago after her clean chest xrays, me and my girl were just chilling and I had an unusually slow day, and something came over me I took this deep breath and exhaled…a wave of relief came over me. I realized I was so caught up in this fight-fight mode that I forgot to enjoy my little moments, at that exact moment I had this very big release. I mean, I spend alooot of time with my girl, she goes with me everywhere everyday of the week to work, to the stables and for errands. its not a matter of not giving her time. But in my heart just the idea of my mind in fight-fight mode 24/7 for over a year, listening to her, checking her poop, researching new ideas. Seems crazy now, but its so hard to control when you are given all these stats, options or lack there of options and obsticals. And everyones looking at you like your nuts, because no one can understand this feeling unless they have experience this disease first hand. I didn’t want to lay down with out a fight, I owed her that with every ounce of my being; but the fight took over my mind and body. I needed to “FEEL”.I forgot that part.

    That is my greatest advise for anyone going through this process. I suggest, fight your ass off if you are given options, take statistics with a grain of salt,theres always an exception to the rules, my girls living proof; but fight, fight and you can live in the moment and keep joy in your heart instead of fear. Like you so kindly mentioned…way easier said than done. Even as I write this, I get a little choked up. Then I glance at my girl knocked out snoring and having a running dream.. big SMILE and big JOY.

  4.   benny55 Says:

    Oh gosh! You have me all chokednup too!

    Yep! Neka is the most enlightened teacher you will ever have! And you clearly are her star student!!

    ENJOY! SAVOR!!!! BE IN THE “NOW” WITH NEKA! You are an amazing soul! You and Neka are still together znd enjoying just being…just being with each other! Lovely!!

    Love and light!

    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!

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